The Birds and the Bees

 Alex has developed a new affinity for after-school naps as of late...to the casual onlooker, this may seem to correlate with the rain that has been falling (and falling and falling) in Portland for the past week. But as his mother, I suspect there is something bigger happening. When Alex finds something he is interested in, he latches on with an intensity that can bend steel. He'll mill and question, consider and obsess, until he's moved onto the next thing that fascinates or confounds him...and repeat. Well, my friends, this newest fascination is a doozy.... and that new fascination is S-E-X, compliments of his new sex ed. class in school. Now, I have fostered an environment of openness in our family that I'm very proud of, no topic too big or small to be discussed...but because there are no topics we won't discuss, Alex thinks....well.... that we should discuss. And although I've been painfully open with the finer points of sex with my older child, you'd think I'd be prepared for a grenade being lobbed at me unexpectedly as I make dinner. It looked a little something like this:

Alex:.....Mom, I have a question....

Me: OK, kiddo.What's up?

Alex: Well...it's about sex. You know, some people think sex is dirty and some think it has something to do with religion or something....do you think sex is dirty?

Me: *shock* *silence*...I can almost see the thought bubble with the word HUH.....?! over my head as I try to figure out how we've made an abrupt left turn from talking about video games to the morality of sex. I began to tap dance with my mouth because I was suddenly faced with a very important conversation and I'd met the moment bewildered while holding a sweet potato.  I rambled more hoping that he could pick out the important details....stuff about how sex is far from dirty. That it's a perfectly natural and special experience to be had by two consenting adults. You know...the stuff you're supposed to say. I wondered if I sounded as shrill I seemed to in my own ears. Apparently, he didn't notice because he proceeded to describe the finer points of coupling to me with wide-eyed wonderment.

And it's continued. He's innocently cornered Tim in the kitchen...Tim...? What is masturbation....? (I heard Tim doing his own version of the tap dance as Sydney and I quietly giggled from the bedroom.). He's managed to yell across a crowded parking lot to a neighbor who asked how he was doing, and was met with: Terrible! I'm learning about sex at school!...

He's taking this whole sex subject very seriously. So he's sleeping. Sleeping it off. Given the way this is shaping up, the whole family may have to follow his lead on this one.