The Worst Idea Ever

It's hard to believe, but high school is looming.....and this, THIS, my friends, is who we're releasing into the hallways alongside the swarms of cunning and obnoxious teenage male hormones.

Orientation was today and, to the administration's credit, the whole production was impressively efficient. She got her school ID at one table, her schedule at another, and books at still another. With so many tables, I was initially hopeful and then terribly dismayed to discover that although I could walk right up and even rent her PE uniform, there wasn't a single table for parents to rent a good reliable taser for the year. You know, teenage boy deterrent. Hell, looking around at all of those boys' faces, I would've joined the PTA on the spot had membership come with a big 'ole can of bear spray. Clearly, school administrators are overlooking the seriously untapped revenue stream available from the hand-wringing parents of newly-minted freshman girls.

We walked toward the door after orientation, Sydney open-faced and starry-eyed, me stone-faced like dead man walking. Tim paused for a moment, looked around, and made reference to Lord of the Flies.

This high school thing is the worst. idea. ever.